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Ugh liiike in a way this makes it easier because there was no guarantee I would’ve gotten there in time for the whole of World/Inferno’s set and I’m not sure it’s possible for me to give any fewer fucks about the Adicts than I already do, but I’m really fucking bummed all the same. Not exactly a show that comes to Cleveland much…

so much frustration

I make less than what minimum wage is in most states and am expected to fucking kill myself doing this job. I’m scheduled for a close then before-open ad setup and they give me coworkers for closes that set me up for fucking failure. I’m so so so done.

So I go trying to find nurse’s aide work again, and as I remember from before, nobody will hire without experience. I really just want to cry. I did everything I needed to in order to get the license, why is that not enough for ANYWHERE???

When I was at a friend’s funeral, my high school art teacher, who had always been my voice of reason when I was in school, told me something very similar.

She’s the most supportive, kindest person I’ve ever met, and I can still go to her with anything at any time. She was so honest about it, though, and I think it helped more than I thought it would.

"I wish I could tell you it gets better, but it doesn’t."

I think hearing someone like her say that kept me from pushing myself too hard not to be upset any more, and has helped me through a lot lately.

(Source: jeezny)

RP bawww

I have a profile on RP_Yaoi.

I wish more than anything that someone capable of writing would respond and be interested in my annoyingly cliche Angel/Demon storyline or even have something cliche or not that they would like to do, but that never happens.

I always get a person who has minimal interest to begin with, doesn’t want to put forth the effort of a couple paragraphs (and really, even one or two is OH FUCKING KAY by me), or has no interest in a storyline that doesn’t revolve around rape.

I don’t want to bother any more, but I love having writing/role playing partners. ;~; Does anyone know if there’s a slightly less shite slash/yaoi RP community out there? Or any good role players who aren’t just interested in fandom?

Holy emo, batman!

I keep going through my address book and saying, “yeah, I should probably take him out.” and every single time, I can’t bring myself to hit delete.

I want to be over this, because it doesn’t seem like it should still be bothering me, but it is. It is so much. I can’t stop regretting blowing off that last time I could have seen him, always sure there’d be another.  I want to say that I’ve gotten over it and that I can accept what happened, but I don’t think that will ever happen.

I can’t make peace with any of it. I guess I still have that strong, unquenchable thirst for revenge. How ridiculous is that? More than that, I want to apologize or at least go back for that one last day. The dumbest things trigger memories and it’s been driving me crazy.

I drove in to work early the other day by mistake and ended up crying in the parking lot over a song that popped up on my iPod. I’m such a loser. OTL I miss him so fucking much though.

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